Authenticity, inclusion and feeling valued
It is said that having a high level of trust with your colleagues helps you feel included and valued at work. That sounds pretty good so I’m going to ask people to point out when my actions don’t match my words.
I am part of a community of coaches, the other day we got talking about how easy it is for
people to co-opt language that might make them appear progressive but it can often be a
facade. The trouble is, how do you tell? How do you know if someone is being authentic?
As I have previously written about, I think it heavily (but not exclusively) involves trust.
We talked about the following “equation” from The Trusted Advisor.
Trust = (C+R+I)/S
R = Reliability
I= Intimacy (how well you know someone not the other kind)
S= Self Orientation
I wonder to what extent trust with colleagues has been affected because I’ve not been as reliable as I could (I know this through 360 feedback) or people perceive me to be acting in my own self-interest. If all other variables are so diminished by self orientation what would the working culture would be like if a promotion/reward system didn’t reinforce this? What about contract periods? If I am due to finish my contract in three years time I think I’m more likely to make decisions that I can ‘cash in’ before this date. I can use this as evidence for a new job rather than make decisions beneficial for the longer term but not necessarily my shorter term career prospects.
What about credibility? Following recent conversations with trusted colleagues, to be credible I realise my actions must be a demonstration of what say. It is deeply damaging for me to say one thing and act in an apparently conflicting manner, but it is so easy to do. Just think of businesses, politicians or teams who state what their values are and make seemingly sensible comments such as ‘people over process’ but who’s actions don’t reflect this. Is it more damaging to say something and act another way than to not say anything in the first place?
When my children were babies, my wife and I had a rule – if they wake in the night, don’t offer to get up unless you’re willing to actually do it.